I thought that everything in my life would be fantastic if I was 'skinny'

I thought that everything in my life would be fantastic if I was 'skinny'

There was a point in my life when I thought that having the perfect body was the key to self-love and happiness. Maybe you feel that way now...? 

< 17% body fat doesn't work for most women. Neither does chasing a certain size that causes you to restrict calories so low that you're exhausted every single day.

I loved being told how skinny I was as I continued to see the scale drop, but I still never felt happy or fulfilled. The key I cut did not unlock self-love like I thought it would. 

I thought that everything in my life would be fantastic if I was 'skinny'. Most of my friends and family already told me I was skinny before I embarked on this journey. The definition of skinny changed for me though and a lot of it came from looking at size '00' supermodels and movie stars. 

Although I knew that the images on the cover of magazines were photoshopped, I hadn't realized the extent that they had been photoshopped and the extent that the images affected how women feel about their body. 

I've realized that focusing on being skinny, or getting skinnier, was a coping mechanism I used to deal with deep fears in life. It allowed me to be in control of something when I felt that I had no control at all. Focusing on calories and exercise only masked what I needed to do to get what I truly wanted.

And I am SO happy that I embarked on this journey because it led me to learn how to nourish my body and develop trust and intuition, I got to a point where I realized that what I was doing was numbing feelings of fear and unworthiness.

When I finally let-go of the pressure I was placing on myself to have a 'perfect body', I was able to listen to what was really going on inside and begin to understand who I am, and to develop self-love. It is so easy to become consumed by external information and to ignore what's really going on in your life. The 'hard stuff'. There is never an easy fix! Using coping mechanisms is not an easy fix...they only delay dealing with the actual problems and may cause more problems than you are ready to deal with. Placing bandaids on bullet wounds. 

The key to self-love is to explore yourself and honour yourself: your values, beliefs, desires, what you are best at, what you need to work on, and what you LOVE. 

choose faith over fear. and repeat. 

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